One year ago today

In the one year since Grandpa's death, there are numerous times I have found myself actually forgetting for a moment that he is gone. I thought this weird at first, but then decided that I was (and am) so truly blessed with his presence - that he is never really gone. I think about him ALL the time. There is no time frame for mourning, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And just because the mourning ends, doesn't mean you've forgotten. Grief ends when you resolve that you can live again; when you can focus your get-up-and-go on your life as a whole, and not on the hurt, or guilt, or pain.

I’ve stopped focusing on the what-ifs and should have’s and could have’s. They will always be there. Replacing them with gratefulness is so much easier and happier! When Cameron was born, Grandpa told me that he couldn’t wait to take him fishing. He never got the chance, but there were so many other incredible memories that did take place! He was here for my wedding and he was here for the birth of his first great-grandchild. Cameron was lucky enough to know his great-grandpa and have that special relationship Grandpa shared with all his grandkids. I also know that there is nothing I would change about the weekend he passed away. Being in Seaside for the funeral prompted so many “I’m sorry you couldn't be here, or I wish you could have been at the hospital.” The picture below was taken the last time I saw him - Dan & Kim's wedding, which was a week before our 7-year wedding anniversary and about a month before he passed. I cannot imagine this image being any different. I would not have wanted it any other way.

A great amount of love and family support is happening today ... just wanted to say that I'm thinking about all of you and sending big hugs and kisses your way! I want to take this opportunity to tell you all how proud I am to be part of this family and grateful to have you all in my life! Since it is supposed to be around 83 degrees here today, I thought I'd post a pic of Theresa and Big Al showing the GPM support. It was from last May, and we certainaly honored Grandpa on the Lake. (Or was that obvious??) :) Here's to Grandpa!

You can shed tears that he is gone
or you can smile
because he has lived.
You can close your eyes
and wish that he'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
You can remember him
and only that he's gone
or you can cherish his memory
and let it live on.

Love you all!

Alicia