What's Heaven?

On the outside, my little boy may appear to be tough and often nonchalant, but on the inside, he has the biggest heart and the capability of extending the most genuine sympathy or empathy towards others. This is the most obvious when someone is hurting. Tears flow, and his concern for the other person is huge. My Uncle John's mom, Gene, passed away a couple of days ago. While we haven't actually seen her in years, we kept up a close correspondence via emails, notes, letters, cards, and of course pictures of Cameron. She was more than just a close family friend, she was family to us. Cameron held a special place with her. She loved keeping up on his activities and never seemed to forget a birthday or special occasion. I had given Cameron periodic updates of her condition the last few months or so, suggesting he send a letter or picture or a nice handmade get well card. He did so with enthusiasm knowing that it "would make her smile and feel better." After hearing that she passed, I waited until later in the evening to talk to him about it. He was concerned, sad, but understood that she was no longer hurting, that the angels had taken her to heaven. The following morning, Bryan takes him to school and the floodgates opened. "Why did she have to die? Why does God have to take her away from all of us? Uncle John must be so sad that his mom is gone." After retrieving a late pass to take him to class, Bryan thought he was under control, but to no avail. He took him home, and thought maybe in an hour or two he would be okay. Needless to say, he spent the day at home with daddy. He was grieving for Gene's loss, and going about his normal daily activities was not the right method for him. Wednesdays are my day to go "into the office" and so I spoke with Cam a few times during the day. We chatted, and emphasized that while we might be sad and hurting because she's gone, SHE isn't hurting anymore. I had purchased a few books the year that my Grandpa and Bryan's Grandpa died. Their deaths were similar in situation, and were only 6 months apart. Tough for a 6 year old to handle. The "What's Heaven?" book, by Maria Shriver, was fantastic, and I highly recommend it. We read it last night, and it seemed to put Cameron (and I) at peace with what was happening.

Not that I have a degree in psychology or anything, but I felt there was more to Cam being upset than Gene's death. We found out a couple of weeks ago that his teacher from FCA (he had her for both 1st and 2nd grade) was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 Inflammatory Breast Cancer, a rare and aggressive form of cancer. (About 1/3 of newly diagnosed inflammatory breast cancers are stage IV.) This was sudden, obviously for everyone, and it hit us all pretty hard, as she was a huge part of our lives while he was attending. Still is, really. They were all family at the school. They treated us all like family, and helped us through some difficult times as well. Knowing that she had cancer, and one that was so advanced, caused even more heartache for Cam. It's hard enough as an adult to experience death and going through the motions of grieving ... I can't imagine how it is for a child. I think it has all swirled into one great sadness for him. My first experience with a death (that I truly recall) was a great-grandparent, and I was already in high school. It's a bit different for an 8 year old. It's a lot to grasp. I just wanted to express deep sympathy for Gene's passing, and for the Keene family. I'm grateful they were all there in November to spend time with her, for her to be with her grand kids, and meet her great-grandson. I'm glad Uncle John was by her side offering her comfort, and I pray that everyone has a safe trip to Alabama. We are thinking of you all.