Tell us how you REALLY feel

What should have been.

RIP.

I like to admit when I'm grumpy and revealing this to others ... as if they couldn't figure it out. But I like to give some notice and am very good about knowing WHY I'm grumpy and letting people know. This covers my bases. Almost like a get-out-of-jail-free card. I am allowed to be grumpy and act grumpy, because I let those around me know. It's common courtesy, people. For example, ""Honey - just so you know, I'm grumpy." Some people, when asked, aren't sure why they are grumpy. Nothing in particular happened, but they're just grumpy. Not quite sure why. Me? I can pinpoint the exact incident that memorializes my mood. Let's take today, for example. I had to wake up around 4:00 this morning to deal with a serial cat killer. Not kidding. Not one present mess but TWO left for the family: Birds. Lying on the floor in the upstairs bathroom. The boys' bathroom. The one my husband had just entered to take his shower before work. No - I didn't wake to the scream of a little girl, but I did wake to the grumblings of a "bloodbath" in the "bath". I get up out of bed and cover my mouth with my jammie shirt. Just in case. Who knows? I might puke. Or it might smell. Either way, I'm prepared. Yup. He's right one bird, and oh ... two birds. And wait ...what's this? Oh look ... that one is still moving. Nice. Good thing I'm shoebox hoarder ... just happened to have have a couple lying around. Now at this point, Hayden is lying on the floor of our room like he is THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT. King of the Mountain. He's proud. We still get our little lizards - usually every 1-2 days. I can handle these. I'm very good about thanking Hayden, and telling him he's a good boy and all that crap. But birds? COME ON! Not gonna happen this morning. Bryan grabs the one that's still moving, and I'm working on the dead one. Seriously. Is this any way to start off a Monday? Especially when I don't have to get up for another 2 1/2 hours? It's garbage day, and we decide to set the box with the live bird in it, on top of all the garbage, with the lid open. Just in case. Miracles happen - he might decide to fly away. Maybe he was in shock? What the heck do you do? It's not like we can just toss it anywhere - Hayden would be sure to bring it back - and I'm pretty positive our neighbors wouldn't appreciate it. So while Bryan is on garbage duty, I'm on clean-up. Thank god for anti-bacterial cleaners and Lysol. Blech. So let's see ... where was I? Oh, right. Grumpy. Not done yet. Now mind you, this has taken an hour. Head back to bed. But I'm a bit paranoid. I can't sleep now because I envision Hayden running right back outside to the garbage can and retrieving the goods that we threw away. Or that he might decide to hunt for more. Since we threw his last gifts out. Maybe he's mad? Maybe he's thinking ... 'humph ... maybe that wasn't enough for them ... better get more ...' Whatever the hell he was thinking prevented me from sleeping for another 45 minutes or so. I finally remembered to just get up and put the block in the doggie door. At least I knew I wouldn't wake up to another bird coming in. You know the those times when you wake up before you're supposed to and think ...why didn't I just stay awake? Well I MIGHT have, if I'd had more sleep this weekend. We'll touch on that later. So I finally get up when my alarm goes off and am EXHAUSTED. Peek out the window ... garbage guy still hasn't come. Great. Decide that the doggie door is still NOT coming off while Cameron and I are getting ready, mostly because I just wanted to get him off to school and not worry about any interruptions. Well we're just about ready to leave and I see the cat. At the window of the back door. And he's got a present. I'm hitting the door trying to get him to drop it. I open the door a crack and apparently that was enough for him because he ran in, up the stairs and dropped it at the door to our room. SERIOUSLY?!! Grab yet another shoe box, scoop it up, head out front and see that the garbage man did come, but there's a shoe box sitting in the road next to the garbage can. Great. A re-purposed bird. Damn cat got it out of the garbage can. I tell you. Now I probably wouldn't be so irritated with him, really I wouldn't, had he not ruined Cameron's birthday cake. Again, not kidding. Read this damn post - do you think I'm kidding?

Cameron had skate practice on Friday night, and by the time we get done there, headed to the store to get stuff for Cameron's birthday party on Saturday, and grabbed dinner, it was kinda late. Later than I wanted to be home. After all, mom had a homemade cake to bake! Cam wanted the infamous yellow cake w/ chocolate frosting, so Mom stepped up. Thinking I was going to be fancy, I bought two mixes, and had planned to stack them with a nice chocolate frosting filling. Bake the first cake ... great. But I didn't wait long enough for it to cool, and when I dumped it out of the pan, some of the top came off. Not a problem. This would be the bottom layer. Bake the second cake and make up the chocolate frosting. Set the cake out, and head to bed. It's after 12:00 by this time. Get up the next morning, and ... what the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS happened to my freakin' cake? It appeared to have some of the center missing. Unfortunately, my husband has a sweet tooth. He gets up in the middle of the night, usually still asleep, and heads to the kitchen for something sweet. He wouldn't dare. Called him up. (Told him I was Grumpy before he fished saying hello ..., by the way.) Asked him if he may or may not have tried Cameron's birthday cake. Why would he do that, he asks? Do you really think I would? He asks again. Well I'm calling you, aren't I? No he didn't taste it, so then I determine that Hayden must have wandered over and decided to give it a taste-test of his own. The cat. What cat eats yellow cake? Without frosting? Now remember, I can't just use the first one I made, because the top part came off, and it is damn near impossible to frost the spongy part of the cake. Have tried it many times. Tried it again Saturday morning. (Starting to think that the birds may have been his "I'm sorry ... so sorry ... " gifts ... ?) Call Bryan back and tell him to get a damn birthday cake. Whatever he wants. His choice. At this point I could care less if it was Blues Clues or Hanna Montana. Just get a cake. Also let him know that I couldn't find the Beaver game ANYWHERE, even tthough I was positive it was televised. Double grumpy. Especially when I see the U of O game on like three different channels here. Anyeway, Cameron and I did have a nice breakfast that consisted of a slice of yellow cake with homemade chocolate frosting. From the corners. Before I dumped it. It was delicious. Now ... in the midst of all of this, I proceeded to dump over a half can of Mt. Dew on the kitchen floor, and after that was cleaned up, I knocked the tub of butter off the counter and about 1/4 of it dumped out. Approximately 1/59 of an inch away from the Mt. Dew. Why couldn't they have decided to jump at the same time. Oh well. Do you have to ask if I'm grumpy at this point? Time now to vacuum the downstairs. I got company coming over at 4 for a 9 year old's birthday party. Why did I bother vacuuming? Anyway ... get most of it done, head to the corner with the floor lamp, move the magazine rack and oh look ... a lizard. Scared the bejesus out of me. Screamed like a little girl. Grab my trusty cardboard size 8.5 critter-getter and try to scoop it up. It runs. Under the couch. Which is heavy. And in order to move it, I have to move the coffee table. Which is heavy. Once I'm done moving all the furniture, I finally find the little guy and snag him. Throw him outside, and it's off to finish the last-minute cleaning. All-in-all it was a FANTASTIC party. I shed the grumpiness when I put on my party hat. I'm good like that. Bryan foudn my fgame, so he was a hero. I celebrated with a corona. At noon. Whatever, right? Cam had 5 friends over, 4 stayed the night. Slightly better than last year, although I was told they didn't fall asleep until around 4:30 or so. That explained a LTO of the laziness on Sunday in the Peterson home! The mommies and daddies THOROUGHLY enjoyed the game - YAY Beavers! - and had fun hanging out while the boys did their tthing. Pictures to follow. I cna't find my USB cable for my camera. Oh - that made me a little grumpy.

My work day is finally over, so ... here's to the bottle of wine on my counter - it's time for a nice glass of sure-to-get-rid-of-your-grumpiness ...